I see it more often than I care to admit. Someone who just can’t move on. They hang onto bitterness, anger and resentment. Consciously or unconsciously, they choose to stay in a place that is painful, sad, and unproductive. The most unfortunate result of this brooding is what it does to our bodies.
Research shows that there is a clear connection between our thoughts and behaviors and physical illness and disease. I know it to be true without ever seeing any research. I see it in real life all the time.
One of my clients was devastated by the infidelity of her husband and end of her marriage. She was seething with anger that lingered years after the marriage ended. She was miserable because she was unable to move forward, she even lost the many of her friends over it. That bitterness and anger was showing up in every aspect of her life. Physically, mentally and emotionally.
This is why I strongly recommend each party to the divorce seek out professional care. As part of the Collaborative process, we use a licensed family coach (therapist) with specific training in family break ups.
Unfortunately, this is not the case with a litigated divorce. You are on your own to figure out the emotional side of things.
Do yourself a favor, move on! Celebrate the opportunity to have a second chance at life! You get to start over and create whatever you want! Decide who you want to be and who you want to be with. This could be the most important time of your whole life to truly become authentic.
The pain, bitterness, resentment – it’s all real. Feel it. Then let it go. Life is too short.
This article was contributed by Donald Morris, financial advisor and CDFA®. Donald is currently serving as president of winwindivorce.org.