Most people assume the first financial move after divorce is to open a new bank account, update a beneficiary, or call a financial advisor.
Those things matter. But they're not first.
The first thing you should do is take a breath — and then take inventory. Before you make a single financial decision, you need to know exactly what you're working with. Not what you think you have. Not what your attorney told you during settlement. What you actually have right now, today, in your name.
That means pulling together every account statement, every debt, every insurance policy, every retirement account. It means looking at your monthly income versus your monthly obligations — honestly, without minimizing. It means understanding what assets transferred to you and which ones came with strings attached.
Why does this come before everything else?
Because divorced women make costly financial mistakes — not because they're careless, but because they move too fast. They open accounts before they understand their cash flow. They make investment decisions before they know their true net worth. They say yes to advice before they've had the chance to understand their own situation.
Inventory isn't exciting. It doesn't feel like progress. But it is the foundation every good financial decision gets built on. Think of it this way: you wouldn't start rebuilding a house without knowing what the structure looks like first. Your financial life is no different. If you're newly divorced and feeling the pressure to do something — I understand. That urgency is real. But the most powerful thing you can do right now is slow down long enough to see the full picture.
Everything else follows from that.
Donald Morris, CDFA is President of winwindivorce.org. His Post-Divorce Financial Planning practice helps newly separated individuals get back on a solid foundation.